Rainbows..

Desipte the gloomy skies,

a beautiful rainbow greeted me with a smile this morning.....

The colours shown brightly as the day gets by

bringing colours into my life....

painting beautiful pictures....

However good things always end in a blink

the raindow disappeared

drawing colours away from my life

leaving me behind black and white

when will the rainbow

shine in my life again?

Decisions and more...

today's entry is going to be a gloomy one.. had a pretty rough day today... have been really drained and tired since dunno when.. i guess everyone is...was really tired doing certain things today.. cld nt concentrate.. hope tt things turn out well in the end.. crossin my fingers...

had a gd talk with jie today.. really poured my heart out to her... told her alot of things which maybe others din want to hear.. it was a nice chat.. i guess now we r pretty open with things.. i like this feeling. we r learning to work with each other styles....

had a pia session with the rest today till 11pm.. omg.. took a cab home.. quite drained but going back to books later.. must jia yo everyone... back to sch to mug tml...

decisions... dun really like the fact tt i am forced into decision within such a short time.. wish i really had more time do think of certain things better... wish i had more advice on certain things... really feel quite pek chek... it is not i can't work under stress.. but i dun like to decide impt decisions within a limited. time.. wish i had tt extra breathing corner...

To everyone: thanks for the concern and care... there r many things i need to sort out myself.. and hopefully will be back on feet again.. jia yo.. :)

a consoled soul.....

had a really good chat with she-beng.. never tt we can really have a heart to heart talk.. told her abt the past events and my feelings.. well i had been really emo this week.. it was a really bad week for me... so kinda needed someone to tell who understand my situation.. thanks she-beng.. thanks for being there when i really needed an ear..

she pointed out that there r different types of pple.. the hard-hearted.. and the soft-hearted ones.. the 2 individuals have to learn to live well with each other.. well won't discuss much abt the former.

just prob tell ya more abt her opinions on the soft-hearted since she classify me under tt :) being someone who is soft-hearted, i tend to take others' feelings very seriously.. i want pple ard me to be happy and den i will be.. hence somtimes we tend to be thrown into situations where decisions r tough to make.. cos we just want to make everyone happy.. not knowing sometimes this might be sth irrtating.. this is a quality tt i have.. i am not askin anyone to bear with it.. but if anyone wants me to make decisions.. do keep this in mind... also for the soft-hearted pple.. things r not so simple ABC or 1,2,3..at least i don't..there certain things which i dun say w/o thinkin it throughly..... i will care for wat other think and whether i will do sth which will hurt them.. there r so many considerations... before a decision is made.. this may or may not hurt anyone in the end.. it really depends..

she-beng suggested that i shld just go with my heart and do thing which i want.. and not live for others.. i will be damn drained tired. and in the end everyone is not happy.. perhaps.. it shld be the way.. ya? but i guess there is so much to learn from each other and to live in this world.. workin hard to it.. perhaps my job can train me in this... i am still hopeful..

exams r here.. i noe it has been a really tough week.. really hope tt everyone jia yo.. pulls thr this all tog... it will end really really soon... work hard to memorise everything.. omg!!! okies back to books... jia yo!!

Down.....

y do i feel so down these days..stress? tired? or just PMISNG... argh really hate this feeling...has been ard for 2 days... brain just not workin properly and eyes feels so strained... hope that things will get better tml...

how come i dun feel any happier after i said and have done certain things? wat kind of feelings i shld get? hmmm sad? happy? relieved? confused? it is all sort of feeling tt i have.. really mixed and can't be describe... it has nt been really going smoothly for me at least for the past weeks.. alot of conflicting feelings.. y do i get this.. i am so unsure.. so uncertain.. abt everything.. am i in the wrong? have i done things which i shld not.. unsure again.. am i takin things too seriously... shld i just relax and take things easier.. it is just not me.. i dun want to think... not for now at least... i am so scared tt i may say things which i may not mean it.. i think i am not even making sense here.. okies better stop writing rubbish....

Life is as simple as one, two, three..

Had a rough day at school, tried to study.. but only manage alittle.. not very productive day.. was pretty upset with certain things.. really bad in expressing myself.. think i shld go and take up some courses.. well but came up with this poem..

Life is as simple as one, two, three..

Although I am as blurr as a sotong,

tt is just only one side of me..

The others may be basking in the light

But I was never in the dark

The machines were aliens to me

But thanks for being my friend :)

Entering a new phase of my life,

Matters of the heart are not in the cards

Come April 23rd,

I hope you remain as my friend.

THe Start of A New Beginning

today marks the end of the honours yr.. it was the poster symposium day where everyone had to be in formal attire and give their best presentation to their examiners. it is a nice experience which i will keep it with me 4ever.. the day went well with good food and company.. i guess the highlight of the day was really the banquet.... it was a time where i proved that fact that boys will always be boys.. and when woman will hope that they will grow into man.. someday..i hope.. i salute those who really can control their actions and for those who can't.. i really hope u do someday.. this going to be a long entry.. so bear with me...

To boss:
Thank you for accepting me into the group... you r nt only my supervisor, but my mentor, like a father to me.. it is really enjoyable talking to you where u will share your opinions, your wisdom, your knowledge with us.. it is sth which i will treasure greatly..thank you boss..

To Shifu:
I noe i have been a real trouble for ya this yr.. apologise for tt first :P just want to say a BIG thank you!!!! you have not only been my shifu in my work.. but in all other aspects in life... You have inspired me in everything.. be it my personal life, my workin attitudes, my goals, my character... i am really fortunate to noe u as my shifu... thank you for all the memorable things u have done to brighten up my life. THank you for all the advices and comments... these are things which i will never 4get... to me,,, u have been a special part in my life.. :)

To my clique( XP, JY, HF, Xl, HH, DREY,Uncle Ben):
it has been an amazing yr with u gals and the MAn in the lab... each of u gals play a special role in my life.. drey and HH will always be the encouraging ones... who never fails to assure me when i need it.. thanks for the beautiful comments always reminding me tt i can do it.. XP and HF, thanks for reminding me tt i am living in reality and not in LALALAND.. the scoldings sometime i get from ya i noe they r good for me.. and i noe deep down u gals really care for me.. appreciate it.. JY.. or shld i say aifen to be? hahaha okies.. it has been a great sem with ya.. thanks for listening to me when i really needed an ear... XL, u never fails to contribute to the group with ur voice.... i suppose we can always count on ya call the waitress when we r out for a meall.. :P. Uncle Ben!!!!!! thanks for the endless reminders on work and also the concern u have for us... and i will miss all the Wld Ya questions... it will be deeply missed..

To the ONe:
It has been great knowing u better in the 2nd sem.. I always noe tt i can count on a big bro like ya for things.. ( everyone shld agree here!!!!! last man standing, no joke). Thanks for the company during the toughest times this yr... sleepless nights.. and pia-ing together online.. THanks for the love and concern u showered on us.. ( i bet everyone else wld want to thank ya for tt too... ok, i help them too here.. :p) i suppose u have been the pillar of support for many... and they really appreciate it.. never lose this ability of urs. and work hard towards a great future... i believe u will have.. :) good luck in finding tt special someone to create a new future with.. :) (PS: sometimes mum will noe ya the best.. )

to my new found frens ( lab or honours):
it has been great knowing u pple... u have a special place in my heart and life.. life will be so monotoneous without you guys.. thanks for all the wonderful stories we have created together.. i sincerely wish the best in everything u guys do in future.. :)

the end of my education years..

sipping my camomile tea.. argh.. feelin so satisfied and relax? hmmm okies still got symposium tml and exams... but it has come to an end.. tough it has been... i think i survived this yr cos of u guys.. u made the tough days.. a breeze.. those drinkin days. those lunches.. those siao moments... omg.. r deeply etched in my heart and mind.. tml.. marks a special day for all of us.. the final day? i think all of us will be flyin to the moon after tt.. i really hope so..

my fren's mum intro a gal to him today.. so cute.. haha.. this days still got such things.. but really tough to say.. maybe tt turns out the be tt gal leh? heheeh hehe ..... my mum always hope tt i marry my neighbour.. she always say how gd he is.. how good lookin he is.. omg.. omg.. want to faint..actually sometimes i just wished she will match-make me with someone.. den i no need to find someone and have the risk of her not likin him.. one criteria tt i have is.. tt my family must accept him.. my family is very impt to me.. so i guess things will be easier if my mum likes him and match-make us.. okies i hear alot of SLAP, bleah!!! AHAH okies.. this is the slack way out.. but i am happy now.. :).. leading a happening life.. and it is goin to be damn busy i am sure.. :)

Priorities

as we grow up.. there r many things we need to complete and do.. it is not just so simple completeing the education system and ensuring one get gd grades. alot of job interviews i went to require me to priortise and multi-task.. sth which i am still learning.. workin hard on it...

grades.. or rather good grades.. is sth which many of us desire and work hard for it.. come to think abt it.. is it the most impt thing in life? in 10 yrs time, wld ya tell ur children or frens tt u got hmmm 10 A1s in sec sch? will it be the topic in future topics? there r so many things in life other than it.. i admit i once use to think that grades is my life.. GOOD ones... i will be upset if i din get a certain mark... haha foolish? maybe...it were the days when i never really tt abt future and wat i really want to do.. and my only priority were grades.. as u grow older, one will realise life is not as simple as ABC.. gettin good grades may land ya in a good job.. but tt is just it.. the world out there is complex and it needs more than just good grades..

I admire pple who noe wat the want in life and realised that uni education is a just a bridge for it.. they will work towards their goals and plan for the future..my sis is a damn good eg.. she works hard for wat she wants... seein her so tired out really slapped me hard in the face... Me? will get stumped on questions like wat do u see urself in 5 yrs time? and i will just come out with sth to get it over with.. tt shld nt be the way. i think it is really time i sit down and ask myself wat i really want in 5 yrs time, 10 yrs.. 20yrs.. or even 50 yrs... plan plan plan is wat i shld do....
i hope pple who r in the same situation as me.. will find their path too.. :)

love the track

met up with beng for lunch.. it has been ages since we met up for a meal.. he has always wanting to meet me for a meal but i super busy... this time pretty much insisted b4 i leave sch... :) well i am lookin forward to the roses and chocolates tt he promise to get during my grad ceremony.. :) nice chap.. but just my part time bf and no more.. though i am askin him to be my sugar daddy.. :)

was tryin to mug in sch today.. but really.. dunno if i were too tired.. it was hard.. nothing seems to go in.. waited for the rest and went for a jog. they went to jog ard sch.. i chose the track.. cos my stamina can't compare to theirs... the jog was shiok!!! it was refreshing though i was feelin damn tired.. but i enjoyed it alot.. okies u gals must be thinkin tt i am mad!!!!! after the jog.. i was walkin ard the track.. was thinkin abt alot of stuff.. did alot of reflection.. it has been ages since i did this.. i used to walk ard my jc track with stef when i was really upset.. this time. it was more of going thr wat i really want.. i enjoyed the quiet moment i had.. treasure it..

just another day?

today was a day of catchin up.. remembering the past and hoping for the future.. it was a nice chat with xp first..in her room.. i must really say tt bed is super sinful.... once ya on it.. it is just lalaland.... cfm!!! it was nice to hear her stuff and her listenin to my stuff.. at least i am clearer abt wat i want.. a good assurance booster... :) met up with the rest for lunch.. wow!! had a fantastic lunch.. not cos of the food.. it sucks. but it was the company.. caught the song Graduation.. wow.. it hit us again tt we r going to grad.. i hope so.... time really flies.. they were predicting tt i will cry at every event comin up.. haha.. fang even warned me to wear waterproof makeup.. haha.. we shall see... btw.. fang u look damn gd with tt new look!!! keep it up man!!!
had dinner with PAt.. was listeing to her teaching dayss.. man.. it is really true tt teachers talk abt sch kids.. interesting to listen though.. another energy and assurance booster from her.. it is always great to chat with her.. :) sth tt i learnt.. haha.. GUYs: never ask a gal if she has been skinny b4.... omg!!!! tt is totally an insult.. this line never exists in our dating dictionary.. :)

sunflowers...

rainbows...

shinning stars..

actors...

masks...

Masquerade...

Dark...

Blinded...

Lost...

VIVO city...

woke up at 6am this morning.. mummy really cute.. she came in just in time when i woke up.. wanted to switch off the air-con cos too cold. she came in den she was liek HUH!! u have nt zz.. den i was NO NO i slept!!! went back to zz.. woke up at 9 plus.. i was liek wat der.. heck went back to zz.. needed all the zz i cld get.. SHIFU!!! u must ZZ TOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

woke up at 11am.. had to lah.. cos needed to meet the rest at vivo to celebrate wansi's bday.. she wanted to wat at carnivore.. hmmm but went there. too crowded.. while waiting for them i went shoppin!!! was at 4ever 21.. tried on 2 dresses.. one white.. nt very flatttering.. the other was.. er nt matching dresses. but i look hot in it i think hah..

went to sushi tei.. omg.. i had a seafood paper boat!!!! there was crab, prawns, salmon.. and scallop!! omg i totally love tt.. had my fav baked salmon sushi!!! yum yum.. den we went to play ash hold dai dee at macs.. tt one can play for 3 hrs.. well done..

den we went back to VIVO.. wanted to shop.. well we did go to daiso.. den went to this pet shop.. omg they dogs were soooooc ute... cute cute cute.. oh.. i heard form a fren tt if a guy loves animals.. he is def a gd catch.. hmm how true is tt.. haha

den we went to play arcarde... omg.. we play this air hockey... paired up with suresh.. was against wansi and jie si.. hah the both sis.. haha omg.. we beat them flat... den aganst yurui and her bf.. haha.. well i was lettin in alot of own goals.. haha.. BUT!!!! in the end.. suresh and i won!! haha.. well done man!!!!

after tt went to food republic to eat.. nice session.. it kinda reminded me.. one of the sessions we have with uncle ben.. the wld ya.. uncle ben.. kinda miss it le... must have this kind of sessions sooon okies.. some questions.. there is this really hot one... how far will ya go in a r/s with ur parnter.. 1) hold hands, 2) hugs, 3) kiss, 4) petting and 5) SEX!!!! where do ya stand.. we chatted till liek omg.. close to 11 lor.. super fun.. liek such sessions... my criteria... sth which i din ans.. i think i am more a attraction person first.. i fall for pple easily.. alot of pple tell me tt too. but in order to sustain tt.. i think criteria will come in.. which i am still seraching for.. i never tjhink tt r/s is so simple.. i think alot.. and nt findin sth which i am not confident tt will work out... i must be sure b4 i get into.. for now.. it is nt really on my list.. let's leave this on hold for a while.. :).. so won't go and think abt it..

Lalalalalalalalla

la la lalalala la lala lalalalal... omg!!!!!!!! i am sooooo thrilled!!! it is finallly over... :).. really tired now.. but who cares.. man.. it is time to jsut nuah and relax... omg omg omg.. the past few days has been really busy.. packed with work.. nightless sleep.. tt is wat haha sgg calls it.. or is it their other way round.. brain nt functionin properly.. haha.. but.. happening.. too happening.. i want to express my gratitude to pple.. ESP MY ELDER!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! I AM SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER TOUCHED.. not all over though no worries i am str!!! haha but thank u .. just liek u had learnt alot from ur elder.. i did too!!!!it is not only in terms of work...it has been an great journey.. dunno how it will be w/o u.. THANKS!!!!!!!! mus tthank those who stayed up with me .. i thikn if u guys nt ard.. i prob zz liao.. haha i noe i am siao. but it is aa great feelin to achieve certain things within such a short time.. super challenging!!!!

wow.. time really flies.. i rem the day when i first met the usual gang tt i hang out with... lunch sessions were sth which i looked forward to everyday, it still does.. i miss those days when all us just sat down for LLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG lunches.. today all of us r handin up our final report.. WOW!!!! scary.. scary..tml we r going to grad.. omg.. omg.. entering a new phase in life.. i am totally excited.. will miss u guys.. let's organise a trip to somewhere.. :) just to nuah and relaz... think the cruise idea quite cool can play bridge!!! okies dream time... my eyes r hardly open.. but fire in me still burns.. :)

chatting.. Friends..

had 2 chats today with 2 very impt pple in my life.. it was a very warm, nice, familiar feeling. it has been a long time i had such feelings with pple ard me.. everyone's really busy.. miss tt feeling.. learnt quite abit from them.. made me realised tt i have grown ( okies i noe sideways..) but i mean more of emo, intell, and ya ya size... :P

this yr saw many UPs and downs.. for me at least.. tough yr? ya i must say.. but i had pple ard me..encouraging and pushing me along.. it is a very warm feeling.. okies gettin really emo here.. i will really miss the days we spent tog.. be it running to the chem department and hand in stuff.. or da bao food and the ever soooo long lunch sessions.. outside the lab... well of course not forgeting the boozzzz man.. pick up the habit of drinkin... omg.. gettin more emo here.. ya of course not forgetin all the suaness!!! omg.. maybe i will miss them!!! okies.. but tt is nt a valid reason to cont..

i have grown i noe.... okie smore emo here again.. feelin like cryin.. DUN LAUGH!!! i noe.. was talkin on the topic of frens withone someone the other day.. he said he will miss pple ard him now.. esp things may be the same from next mth onwards.. true in a way..

my little sis told me b4.. look at the words friEND ... personally.. i think it is impossible to keep everyone single one of ya frens ard ya.. 4 ever.. there r different types of frens.. some which u will cry in front of when u really need to.. some whom u will call upon when u really stressed out.. i noe i have a few.. some whom will be more significant in a ceratin part in life than the rest.. when i mean end here i dun mean tt u will never be frens.. but more of u see less of each other.. well but eventually if the frenship ends... let it be.. but i believe tt if ya have made an impact in their lives.. tt will be sufficient.. no need to be sad over such things.. move on.. cos u will make new ones.. and create more exciting stories.. i will treasure watever i have and hope for the future.. :)

Fooling ard..

Ouch... have a swollen gum since yesterday... ouch ouch cld nt really eat for the whole day.. was chewing on the right side.. kinda reminded me of the days when i had my wisdom tooth taken out.. hope the swelling will subside really soon.. :)

woke up early this morning..wanted to do stuff... works' really piling up.. well but mum asked me to pick the clothes tt i wld be wearin for tue's interview.. wanted to go in another dress.. but... i tihnk this time i need to be more formal.. due to the nature or the job.. hmmm found sth nice.. really excited abit it.. but really can't imaging wearing shirt and skirt/pants to work daily.. omg.. tt is so freaky.. :) was talkin to a fren the other day.. i want to find a job tt allows me to wear my dresses.. haha okies.. i noe... i noe.. u pple going to say.. WHAT!!!!! okies.. tt shld nt be the way.. but still excited abt the future.. :)

fooling ard with more than 1 partner.. i think when it comes to matters of the heart.. one shld be really clear abt wat they want.. it is nt gd to give the wrong ideas or lead someone on.. cos pple do get hurt.. i hate it when guys fool ard and not even noe the gals tt they r with!!! tt is totally ridiculous!!!! (don't mind me. just watched UGLY betty!!!) oh also.... there was this part, tt when a ugly gal flirted.. everyone gave her werid looks... only pretty gals can flirt ard and get guys? those who r less fortunate in the looks department can't???? YYYYY... i think everyone has the potential.. it is a matter they want to or not.. hmmm okie si noe i am being one-sided.. there r pretty gals who dun too.. well just a tt... well but i tink a word of caution..don't over do it.. i think it is never good to play ard with guy's feelings.. they r humans afterall...

Regrets...

have ya have any regrets.. some of us do... was watching a tv serial just now.. a couple saw the guy giving into the r/s more than the gal.. but she never realised how much he has done for her. she jsut treated him as per norm.. until the day when he got into an accident and lost his memory.. well he forget who she is.. and the gal suddenly feels super lost. it is only then she realised how much he has done for her.. always there for her when she needed him.. y do pple only realised the importance of things when they lose it. i think it is good to do self-reflections on the daily events and re-think if there was regret or u took someone close for granted.

OR... have ya regret sayin certain things or not tellin someone certain things... i think do things and follow your heart and do not regret.. :)

busy busy day...

been really busy.. recently.. many deadlines to meet.. the office was in full force today with all of us in ... everyone was rushin stuff.. it is nice feelin to see everyone workin tog... so hard.. and supporting and encouraging each other.. of course it wld nt be been possible w/o the higher lifeforms and the highest lifeform... they were really supportive.. and helped us alot.. thanks!!!! i guess the tradition maybe put into action eventually :) thanks again.. i bet next week will be another week liek this.. jia yo everyone!!!!

JOb Interviews...

went for a job interview at TTSH. it is my first.. for this yr.. :) had to miss a lesson cos the interview.. tried really hard to push bakc the interview but the director was only free to meet me then.. i only comfrimed the interview time on wed night.. went in my dress.. mum said tt i shld go in shirt and skirt.. more formal.. i told her very waitress and so nt me.. i want to go in sth which i am comfortable in and confident. :) look pretty sweet in the dress i think.. a fren commented tt.. :) it was a cabbin day.. went there in a cab and back to sch.. i am gettin really lazy..

the interview went wel.. it is a job which i can c myself workin in.. hmmm hope to hear from them again.. the director seem like a great person to work under..got another one next tues.. super excited abt tt one.. but i think it wld be going to be tough.. but den will go for it and see how it goes.. :)

had a really packed day..

today was a pretty rushed day.. had to do stuff every single moment.. it din help tt there were many changes to certain stuff.. it does nt reflect very well on the way they do things.. i am nt cocky!! but this is ain't the way things shld be done. pretty irritated!!! argh...

went to the bazzar.. din noe it exist.. bought ice-cream.. ( happy food).. had cookies and cream and rum and rasin.. wowo..yum yum.. the guys sellin i think student.. not very pro in scooping the ice-cream. it was dripping outside.

i think this is a time when everyone's tolerance level is super low. i believe that for sth to happen, it takes 2 hand to clap.. never one sided.. i maybe the catalyst but one still need the reagents b4 it can work.. okies this sounds too chemistry... i don't think i am the worse.. learing to control emtions is sth which i am still working on..

the bed looks sooo tempting..

omg... it is 12.08am as i blog.. my hair is still wet from the wash.. feelin really tired.. but need to do stuff.. so i guess.. yup.. workin late.. let's see.. wat happen to me today.. :) well ran some stuff today.. wanted to cfm certain things.. i did!! wow.. small achievement i guess.. but better than nothing.. oh.. i have a new middle name.. it used to be sweet.. i guess now.. to describe my life.. it is SHITO!!! wat to do.. but i will survive..

want to thank alot of pple who r there for me esp during this period of time..ermh... must give special thank to the person who gave me goat's milk yesterday and today.. a peanut pancake.. omg.. i am on the verge of being 黑黑胖胖！！！！！ but it was a sweet action.. let see tml wat it will be!!! really touched... omg.. feel like cryin liao.. sob sob.. but i get touched super easily one!!!! like gettin me my fav ice-cream when i am cravin for it also can!!! :) omg.. OH NO!!! i need to start to save up for the abalone... shark's fin.. faint.. i think the next two weeks cannot eat liao.. :( haha.. okei sokies.. must jia yo!!!! everyone!! the bed still looks damn tempting... ooooooooooooo....

stefy!!! so happy for ya!!! hope tt u liek the job!!!

Lala land...

feeling a little high now.. think i have past the stage where i am super tired.. and entered my lala land.. it has been a really super long day.. the rain in the morn made me want to zz in ... but i pulled myself out of the bed.. cos i was excited abt some idea runnin in my mind.. first thing was to check the EA lab out.. well but i found out i cld nt do the stuff i wanted too.. a little disappointed.. walked back to lab.. and met fang on the way.. i din even see her.. was too engrossed in thinkin wat i shld do next..

went on to prep stuff to run... spend ard 4 hrs.. running the stuff.. wow... it is freaking long.. omg.. din had lunch.. was feelin super hungry throughout.. thanks for staying throughout man!!! really appreciate it.. luckily we both din faint of hunger. haha.. well at least this time i din whine when i am hungry.. ahah.. in norm days i wld.. well the stuff i ran din realyl help.. so yupz.. back to sq one.. runnin sth tml if i can get the time.. omg.. i think after all these i prob touched all the instruments i possible can..

was so hungry.. but cld nt eat.. felt like throwing up all the time.. think too much wind in the stomach liao.. dinner was macs.. was struggling to finish my food too.. omg..

had a regular chatting session during dinner with my kakis.. we were talkin abt lots of things.. like will ya feelin insercure if ya partner is super good looking.. den we went onto .. will ya cont to date someone if ur family is against it.. den we went onto.. how wld ya reject a guy.. hmmmm it is so my topics. ahha. i always ask such werid werid questions.. think most of them cannot stand it liao..

went to chit chat with my elder.. haha.. so nice she gt me goat's milk.. she went to a farm!! OMG!!! i so want to go prawning..... !!!wow.. there is the after taste.. omg.. i dun rem drinkin goat's milk b4 leh.. but she so cute.. anyway.. it is supposed to be damn nutritious.. i think all of us need it badly now. haha thanks... really apprectiate the sitting down and chit chattin session.. :) i noe u r reading this... thanks thanks!!! :) for the salsa performance tt u promised on my behalf..... i will dance if double OH 2.. do her hip hop.. :) which is pretty much impossible.. haha

Way Back Into Lurveeeee..

There are moments when I dont know if its real

or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I cant make it through without a way back into love

and If I open my heart to you

Im hopin you'll show me what to do

and if you help me to start again

you know that I'll be there for u in the end

went to watch music and lyrics just now.. needed a break so just went out to catch the show.. have been dyin to watch it..but all my gfs have watched it.. so went with pple tt had not.. i had high expectations of the show.. but the movie was so gd tt i was beyond my expectations.. :) it is a must watch.. and i may go back for a 2nd time.. it is tt gd... i norm won't watch a movie 2 times.. :)

my fav part was when Alex sang the part Don't write me off.. OMG!!!! it was super touching touching... almost teared.. haha.. but i din.. must control.. cannot go everywhere to cry.. :_ ( after seeing tt part, one of my guy fren casually mentioned to another guy fren tt if ya want to chase a chi gal. must learn how to play an instrument.. haha.. how true is tt i wonder.. play instruement is nt enough bah... must compose a song for her.. i think she will be super touched.. but den again not all the gals r the same.. haha some will jsut laugh it off? hmmmmm

was talkin to someone just now.. he was sayin tt guys prefers gals tt r difficult to get than those u can find one streets or easy to get. i mean i totally agree too. i believe tt guys r hunters by nature.. they need to chase in order to treasure their preys.. :) but he went on to say tt there is tt kind whom are unreachable.. all i can say.. it is nt considered unreachable.. i think gals noe wat they want.. they noe wat and who they r lookin for.. if they dun like ya or just treat ya as a fren.. it is just a fren.. no matter how hard he chase.. they r just frens.. have seen cases b4. well but of course nothing is impossible... if the gal feels tt the guy is genuine and treats her really well in the long run.. and there r no factors tt prevent this r/s... Y not? :)

a CLean sat..

woke up at 8am with the help of the alarm clock.. had a family breakfast.. mum gt my fav nasi lemak.. yum yum... wanted to go sch to do stuff early.. but well family breakfast is impt.. went back to sch to clean up the place.. wow.. never tt spring cleanin cld be soo..rejunivating.. okies u guys must be thinkin tt i am mad... it was nice.. at least it takes my mind off work for awhile..

wanted to watch music and lyrics really badly today... wanted to just stop wat i am doing and escape for a while.. i can't work with a tired soul and stress mind.. wanted to watch so badly till i din even mind a 950pm show.. omg.. i must be really mad.. doing werid things.. well there was no tics.. otherwise i shld be sittin in some theatre watchin the show.. :) prob won't catch it liao.. with next week really packed.. and all the deadlines to meet..

listening to like a shinnig star by fly to the sky... the song tt i was repeating on thursday night.. i guess i have really quiet recently.. and all my posts has been really depressing.. mood swings r high recently.. stress? maybe? tired? maybe? drained? maybe? i really wished that everything will be over really soon.. and i just want to move on...

The defination of rich and poor...

What is Rich and What is Poor.. do ya measure it in terms of money.. at this moment.. to me rich is the ability to live life to the fullest though u have no money.. okies.. i can hear the sounds of me being realistic.. What is the defination of Sweet to ya. Is it a candlelight dinner for 2 in some posh restaurant? OR... just a homecook meal... nothing beats the latter.. no doubt money is impt.. but it can never buy certain things.... frenship.... Trust... care and concern.... love.... and so much more... wat is being rich when u have nothing else.. except for money... hmmmm

hmm i am super tempted to just go somewhere where simple life is lead.. and experience for awhile b4 coming back to this busy lifestyle.. i want to get back the feelin of feelin satisfied.. grateful.. thankful.. i think it is very recharging.. and soul-seraching.. hmmm.. maybe shld start planning..

i miss that smile..

An aching body...

A searching mind...

A tired soul...

that seeks comfort...

A beautiful smile...

that is fake...

A pair of eyes...

that are soaked in tears...

A heart that is dead...

the tt is still running...

A will that is weak...

that slows in time

footsteps heavier...

actions delayed...

tears flowing...

losing someone...

my pig sty

omg.. my rm is really in a mess.. i am living in a pig sty... books r all over the place.. and notes and journals.. looks liek it is a gd place for lizards to hide and i so dislike them... but i dare nt to kill them.. i c them i run away.. i think my mummy will scream at me really.. soon.. but she dare nt to disturb me now.. :)

spend the whole day.. at home doing stuff.. nt bad..but still workin hard.. need to speed up abit more.. too slow liao.. had a fun time at home with my sis too!! she was playin fly to sky songs.. omg.. they have such goood voice.. tt kind u will melt in ...ooooooo.. almost instantly.. :) okies.. i am crazy. but their music is tt kind cannot listen and do work one... one bad thing abt workin at home is i tend to take naps.. hmmm nt too good.. haha no time liao.. still zz.... really piggy!!!! OINK OINK... think will be rollin in mud so soooooon... good good.. can do a spa.. :)

spoke to mummy today.. reassured her on some things.. it is one of the reasons y i stayed at home today too.. she said certain things which i really dun agree.. but den she is older n wiser.. i respect her opinions.. tough for me on my side though... it has been a tough few days for both of us.. i just hope that things will eventually work out and be fine.. jia yo!!!! i can do it...

long day?

reached home half an hour ago.. grab a chicken n mushroom bun.. plus cold milo... it has been a really long long day.. stayed in sch till 10plus.. luckily.. i gt a lift to mrt.. i guess i shld nt complain since i stay so near.. okeis okies i shan't..

din really zz well last night.. many things were runnin thr my mind... went to bed only like 1 plus.. well i guess i only fell asleep den bah.. woke up at 5am... went back to zz.. wanted to slp a little more.. but ended up wakin at 8... went to print stuff.. and headed for sch.. ran ard today pretty much.. was in the sian.. and I AM NOT THERE MOOD.. GOSH as i type.. the rain is gettin heavier outside.. tt is quite abt it for the day's happenings..

i dunno y it is a big fuss over such a small trival thing.. at least to me it is small... sometimes.. feelin really restricted tt i can't make my own choices and live the way i want.. y things can't be as simple as ABC and 123....hmmmmm i hope things will die down and back to norm...

CLose frens

went out with stef for dinner today.. she came to pick me up from sch.. den went to pick her bro.. at ACS (international) (PS: her bro is super cute.. haha.. ) he drove us to SUNtec.. was craving for marche food.. :) but went there.. it was closed... DOWN!!!! okies so we tt maybe country mania was there.. cos the othertime we went it was closed to.. so went there.. i guess it really nt our day... it was closed down too.. OMG!! this is freaky.. we settled for coffee club.. had my rosemary chicken... after which... while waitin for stef who was in the toilet.. i went to check out dresses.. really hooked.. on them.. okies...

sth on the serious side... pple tend to take things for granted esp.. when it is easily obtained.. this happens esp with ppel who see each other almost everyday.. they tend nt to treasure the small things tt one do for each other daily.. and treated it as per norm... it is nice.. to say thank you.. or just a smile a day.. will def brighten one's day... okies... stef was tellin me tt her bro is a damn nice dude.. he is tt kind will let ya bully.. but there is a threshold.. for him it is high.. but once u hit it.. there is no way turning back..

hmmm now back to my topic for today... close frens.. they do nt happen overnight, over secs, over mins.. over a sunrise... it takes time to build this frenship... it takes time to build tt trust level the connection level.. the clickishness.. if there is such a word... and it is different for individuals.. for me.. some r really fast attained. while others need efforts to explore... but i need to feel tt ur sincerity in being frens with me... and next is the turst level... close frens does nt always need to tell each other. tt hey.. this is wat i really meant.. i think it shld be more of spontaneous.. enough have said for today... i supposed...

learnt a bitter truth today... well.. it is still for me to decide if i shld follow.. hmmmm

Assurance...

it always feel gd to get assurance from ya frens... nice to noe tt there r always pple who think well of ya.. and also.. who actually do bothers abt ya... haha.. okies dun worry.. i noe i am nt tt bad... i mean i noe at least i am not some dumb ass.. who goes ard blurr and being innocent.. faintz.. pretty much hate it when pple says tt.. but den again.. it can be a nice mask i supposed...

Trust is a big isssue btw me and my frens.. it is sth which i treasure btw frens when i have it with them... when i do... it means tt i really do.. there is no going back from there.. well it has its cons... but it is a priniciple i live by....

was watching UGLY Betty just now... damn cool show.. talks abt a gal who is super erhmmm the title says it.. UGLY ... welll for this case it is apperance... superficial it may be in this world.. and i bet it do... for me.. no matter how good lookin u r... if ya have a really sucky character.. u will def fall alot in ranks... a good hearted but plain lookin person might be a prince or princess.... i read from somewhere tt woman r much better in character judgement.. hmm sounds pretty dejavu.. i think i wrote sth liek tt b4..

i think for many girls.. they don't need brad pit or tom cruise.. someone tt they can bring out to boast.. they jsut need someone tt they can trust.. and be there for them.. cheer them up when they r down.. listen and NOT provide solutions when times .. and give in to them when necessary. haha ( sound familar).. i just need someone i can really trust.. guys.. prob want a hot babe..at least presentable.. bah... someone they can bring out to show off to their frens.. and hence.. they might nt be off better judges in character.. well.. i noe this does nt apply to all guys lah... i better mention this b4 some of u guys get totally offended... correct me if i am wrong.. :P

a well rested day..

had been really tired for the past few weeks... till sometimes.. to the extent of acting strangely.. it was a nice break from last night.. had a fab time at the BBQ... rekindled my love for children once again.. when i saw the innocence they have in them... omg.. it kinda reminded me of my YEP days.. when i spend so much time with the children there in Dali..

was reading the newspaper on divorce... the articles mention how much harm it can do to children.. some of which even mention that.. the children of such backgrd will nt be confident in entering a r/s or even marrying.. well... for now.. pple whom i noe tt come from such bkgrds r doing pretty well.. they are hopeful of the future and do want to find someone they can spend the rest of their lives with.... for me... i will only have kids when i am confident of providing the best for them.. at least a complete family...

today, spent most of my time resting and sleeping... i think the best way to move on is to recharge.. :) i sure do have a long way ahead... must jy! jy!!

many things happened in the past week...was pretty irrtated with someone.. for sayin certain things out... but i guess i pretty much clarify things out... so now i am ok liao.. i just want to say.. sometimes.. i might say things which i may nt mean tt seriously... and i have a tendancy to forget too.. esp when i am liek super tired now.. okies i noe tt is def nt an excuse.. i am horrible in expressing myself.. okies maybe... shld start to keep quiet.. and tone down abit... hmmmm

great day..

today..was a reallly long day at sch... many things happen... was shocked to see someone so upset for certain reasons... it has never been like tt... take care okies....

everyone is gettin really busy nowadays.. it is so tough to find time for the whole grp to sit down and just nuah.. really miss those days last sem.. when we can afford to.. think this shld be the craziest period for many of us...

had to attend a talk in the evening.. wow.. the talk was really long.. it was enriching though and hmmmmm entertaining? okies.. i think some might agree with me..

was lookin foward to the bbq at west coast.. wanted to meet his little cuz.. so cute.. the photo.. omg.. had a long day.. but once i reached there.. saw the little gal.. wow.. i was realyl perked up..she is realyl cute. and super pretty.. she was wearin earnings tt i will wear lah.. omg she super energetic lah.. omg.. reminds of my younger days.. haha.. okeis i sound super old... bbq was nt bad... but abit paiseh.. din really bbq just went there to eat.. and play bridge.. er... okies next time.. yup.. :) fed quite abit of mosquitoes.. man.. they were sayin tt it has to do with body temperature... guess i was hot.. :P okie sokies... but thanks... i had a great night.. :)

pretty proud of myself...

hmmm had a pretty long day today... spent 5 hrs figuring out sth new.. omg.. was pretty stressed out when things din turn out well during the first half of the day.. if i snare at ya... ya.. dun take it too hard.. PMSIN.. and prob.. stress.. :P well after lunch was better.. gettin abt hooked on the new stuff tt i learnt.. pretty fun.. hmmm wasn't in a gd mood till dinner..

went to munchie monkey.. had a soft shell crab thingy... super hooked on it.. but rice was really dry... nt too nice.. oh i had a nice FNF orange which used crushed ice.. instead.. and it looked really diffferent... more high class.. lol.. we were all crappin.. laming at jokes..singing songs..i was singing.. to gummy bears.. i love eating them!!!!! yum yum. my all time fav.. bus took really supe rlong to come.. :) i think everyone were tired...

i am nt very gd in expressing myself sometimes.. certain things i rather nt say than say.. this is one big prob with me and caused many misunderstandings... certain things.. i prefer if pple come n clarify with me.. den i will say.. be more initaive with me.. bah... when i am stress somtimes.. i dun like to talk.. but think it thr.. for a while.. if i really cannot den prob i will ask bah... :)

lookin forward to the bbq tml.. actually.. it has been since i really chill out and have fun... hope tt i get to see ya cuz.. :) and it being a success...

been feeling pretty feverish recently.. HOT HOt HOt.. hope tt i won't come down with sth nasty too... everyone ard me is sick.. omg!!! take care... DOWN WITH THE GERMS...

proud of my little sister and quality time with family

it was.. a lazy morning.. the sky looked as if it was going to rain... well today is a big day for my 2nd sis... it is her graduation day!!!! the start of a new phase in her life..:) really proud of u mei!!! she left the house early first to report in sch at 8am... my parents left ard 8 ba to report at 9am.. well since i din get a chance to go into the hall, me and my youngest sis went later.. :) went there to take photos with her.. :) full family attendance.. nt bad.. :)

on the way.. passed my laptop to jy... :) omg.. she is in a stripped green shirt and her bag was green.. i was in a pink stripped shirt with a pink bag.. haha .. jy u r becoming more and more liek me... :P reached.. my sis sch at ard 1045.. it was at Woodlands.. omg i felt so homesick... but i had a gd chat with my youngest sis.. the one tt complained tt i see her only 10mins a day.. anyway... when we reached the place.. there was a grand reception.. omg there were cooks or maybe waiters.. serving food... there was my fav choco eclair.. pretty grand... how i wish NUS's will be liek tt too.. but i am doubtful abt it.. heard nt too gd comments abt it.. we shall see it this yr..

saw my sis.. taking photos with her frens.. she also told me the guy tt she liked.. nt bad lookin.. well done mei!!! gd taste.. sia.. it runs in the family btw..:P apparently the whole grp noes.. (sounds familar).. hope things will happen ya.. mei.. :) took a few more photos.. den my family went to tour the sch while i headed back to sch too.. needed to finish stuff...

stayed till prety late in sch today.. wanted to start to type more stuff.. but ended nt.. but was nt slacking... okies must jy !!!!!! well i guess at this pt of time.. a little stress is common.. if nt stress den er.. abit werid right... so dun worry.. :)

Changes..

pple do change.. some for the better n some for the worse.. how have ya changed? i seen some of the changes in my frens.. truthfully.. i am disgusted by some of them and on the happy side.. i am proud of those who has grown up and changed for the better.. :) keep it up guys.. u noe who u r.. if ya need an assurance from me.. tell me... will be glad to encourage ya :P

the past week saw my little sis.. growin up.. her 21st bday.. wow.. welcome to the adult world mei.. my daddy was sayin tt he has control of us b4 21.. but after tt it is our own world.. and life.. how we want it and rule it.. next week will see her graduatin.. omg.. so proud of her.. she really changed alot.. for the better def!!!! congrats mei!!! i am so proud of ya as a sis... i really need to spend more time with my family... my little sis was complainin tt she only get to c me 10min per day.. tt is super pathetic.... i feel alittle distant from this family. must get back tt feeling... and it is my responsibility...

the world pampers the elites and forgets the less smarts? we r moving into a world where.. the rich will get richer and the poor will always be poor.. the gap will never be narrowed.. this is a competitve world.. if ya nt in the rat race.. u will be left behind with the rest. who will lend ya a hand or be patient enough to listen to ya... hmm wat will this world become.. in future.. for i think.. it is nt going to be pretty... hmmmm any tts?

drinking..and my lacy dress..

yupz.. it is drinkin.. nt coffee, tea or coke.. but beer... hmmmm picked up the activity of drinkin ever since i entered my final yr... most of my peers.. drink.. hmmm i think i need to train up abit... a little cannot take it liao.. but i realised that drinkin for glass is better than from the bottle.. cos i think the gas is lesser.. :) oh.. i like stella.. very smooth to drink.. :) we were talkin abt the different stages of drink... the sober... the saye... the high.. and finally the drunk.

sober.. when u had nothing... when u can control the smallest actions...

the saye.. when ya need efforts to control ur small actions

the high where some pple starts to be clumsy and loud

the drunk when u puke and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i wonder if things said and done when one is saye is the most truthful or the reverse... hmmm maybe someone can comment on it..

was feelin pretty sian today... it is another weekend... one of my fren told me tt a weekend is never a weekend if it was nt spent doing nothing... well true enough.. needed a break.. though seriously i dun have much time to do stuff... well i guess a little one is no harm... went to IMM... to shop... wanted to sing.. but alittle to ex... went there... guess who we saw.. GUO JING AN and ma jun wei!!!! omg.. 2 of my fav hk actors... it kinda made my day... they r really good looking.. omg omg.. okies.. hua chi again..

after tt went to shop shop... everywhere had sale... went to DMK first... look at the shoes.. i love their shoes there affordable and pretty.. :) went to BYSI... it had 50% sale.. omg... half price... the clothes there alittle on the mature side... more for workin professionals... now.. i am a very dressy.. gal... was lookin at all the dressess... saw a couple and tried them on... pick up this white tube dress... it had a black inner linning... and the outside was omg.. just lace.... looked alittle curtain... hestitated to get it... but it was pretty cheap for dress.. and i looked... pretty good i think... it looked.. pretty formal.. can go for dinners... or more formal occasions with a jacket... i love it.. but seriously dunno when i will get to wear it.. hopefully there is a function i can wear it in the near future... :) well went to look at the other places... be going back to get it... well the dress is sitting at home and i am hoping tt i will get to wear it..

my fren was tellin me tt some guys actually do noe.. where u gals get the clothes from.. and they r particular abt it.. omg... cannot get too... er.. cheapo clothes? i guess 人靠衣装，佛经金装。haha.. must be concious where i get my clothes from liao... :)

thanks man!!!

feelin a little sick liao.. LOTS of pple ard me r fallin sick... take care pple... actually i am too... prob slept too little last night.. BUT it was a gd chat till tt late.. but nt really if ya have a tutorial at 8 am the next day lah.. next time shall choose a nicer time.. nice to hear ur opinions on certain topics.. it was interesting and insightful to learn abt them. can do this once in a while or go out for a drink lah... u r someone who is attentive, sensitive and sincere.. haha.. gals... want to noe this great guy.. ask me for details.. i send ya his resume yup... :) guys of such r hard to come by these days.. :) omg i better get a treat for this man dude!!!! u noe who i am talkin abt.. :P

ABC... does nt stand for american born chi.. it stands for ... acting bluffin cheating.. my daddy ever told me tt in this world.. it is full of ABC!!!!! everyone is smoking someone else.. i feel that sometimes i am too naive, too protected, too innocent, to blurr? and this world just dun work this way... there r still lots to learn.. hmmmmm

THe Forbidden Fruit is sweet..

i guess i am stubborn or rather i believe in myself more than others.. pple r tellin how bad certain things r ... y do i still want to sink into it.. i noe, i noe.. i kinda ignore alot of things u guys said.. until i taste the sour in the forbidden fruit.. it is always sweet in the beginning.. but may or may not turn sour in the end.. for me.. i guess sour? saw certain things which i was hoping not to... too chiem... this entry is for pple who noe wat i am talkin abt.. those who dun.. never mind, i have nothing against ya.. trust me...

listening has never been a prob with me... i am an excellent listener.. but at times. when my heart has made a decision... it is tough to change it unless i am proven wrong.. and i must experience it myself... i will try to LISTEN... open my eyes bigger... and i guess the forbidden fruit is always alluring and sweet... :)

the photos r out!!!

http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/suezke/album?.dir=/e8eascd

this is the link everyone.. :)

pisces traits..

The FishesFebuary 20 to March 20

TraditionalPisces Traits

Imaginative and sensitive

Compassionate and kind

Selfless and unworldly

Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....
Escapist and idealistic

Secretive and vague

Weak-willed and easily led

St Jame Power Station plus match

yesterday was actually looking forward to watching a soccer match in a club.. supposed to meet the rest at Vivo at 7pm for dinner.. but went ahead first to get my watch fixed.. the strap is too big.. for all my watches.. :) reached Vivo at ar 640.. den suresh called.. super lucky dude!!! i just gt down the bus when ya called.. he, too just reached, so he pei wo go to city chain to fix my watch strap. scout for the place cos din noe where was the exact location.. the lady took out 2 sections but it was still far too loose for me.. my wrist is pretty small.. :) ck called and said tt he was on this way.. hmm my watch was done, suresh and i waited for him outside city chain.. wanted to leave w/o him.. but waited.. :P on the way down.. suresh wanted to get chocolates from SINS. he likes milk chocolate.. we din get it immediately.. cos needed to find another shop to fix my swatch watch.. :) there was another chocolate shop nearby.. and there was this toy shop which sells ultra man and bat man.. and... i can't find barbie doll. haha okies.. it is better than polly pocket.. (for those who noe the joke )

suresh in the end got his chocolate.. gt 10 pieces for the gals.. so sweet.. :) den we proceeded to VIvo.. met the big grp along the way.. had jack, jiesi, wan si, yurui + bf but they ate dinner liao. so the 3 of us met up with caroline + mia for dinner at bk. while the rest went to st james powerstation first.. :)

the agenda of the day was to watch the match btw liverpool and Manchester United. sat down to watch the match but there was no commentary cos we were outside.. so it was alittle boring.. thus the gals decided to play cards.. thanks for bringing them man!!!! well things got really excited towards the end of the game... cos man U scored a goal.. in the last few mins.. wow.. the guys were damn pissed off!!!! liverpool supporters lah.. :P it is quite funny seeing guys watching soccers.. cos they become small boys again.. :) after tt most of them wanted to go home.. ps.. suresh.. next time.. okies.. if there is more pple..

me.. went to check out st james powerstation.. wanted to see the dragonfly room... cos it is a chinese club!!!! one of the rms at st james powerstation.. it was really eye opener for me.. to me it is more a higher class ge tai.. there were more pples itting down listeing to canto pop rather than dancing to tunes like jolin tsai.. the crowd was much older.. and prob richer.. but the band was good..:P after that we went to the latin room... wow tt was hot hot hot.. they were playin tons of salsa music.. omg.. it has been ages since i danced salsa... space was limted though but it was nice to just groove to the music.. :) i totally love it... liek tt room the most. band was esp friendly.. :) went to other rooms like the jazz.. nice.. chiill out place... the singer tries hard to mimic micheal buble but noone can beat him... den we walked wanting to go back to dragonfly... and passed by this place where there was display of the generators i think ... :) i din noe tt place used to be a powerstation.. wow.. went to queue at dragonfly again.. stand for 15mins... it was like 1 plus liao.. den we decided nt to queue and went to eat supper... dun think will go back there again... the crowd alittle too mature and not spontaneous.. :)

supper was nt bad.. with ba chor mee.. quite like it.. never knew my place food can be so good....
and i learnt alot abt ns.. omg.. they kill sparrows to eat... horrified. suddenly the ba chor mee din taste tt nice.. eeeeek... i guess i am girly gal who will freak out... omg..

my bday party part 2

After the games.. it was pretty late... ard 9 plus.. so i cut the cake.. hmmm my cake was from secret recipe... CHOcolate marshmallow.. well as usually i took a long time to decide on my cake.. finally on this cos.. i love it.. but it was pretty heavy.. i really love the deco on the cake.. really sweet.. :) i din expect it to be like tt. tt it will be black.. but den again.. cake cutting was a long process too cos i had so many grps of frens.. :) to take photos with ... as for presents wise.. i ha 3 watches... well love them.. they r all sooo classsy... hmmm a necklace.. a pair of earings.. bag photo album... and a gift set from body shop... loved the gifts.. thanks.. really touched.. for everyone.. who made this a memorable one... .. for the rest of the photos.. hmmm i still can't find a page to upload leh.. will do so when i eventually find a source.. :0

my bday party.. Part 1

it is finally one week from my bday.. :) okies it think i shld really post sth up here...

830am:

din really slp the previous night as it was a pretty hectic past week.. feelin really excited abt the night celebrations. it has been a party which i wanted really for along time. luckily i had the helped of my mum and sis to help me packed the barang barang tt i needed.. :) there were 3 big bags.. full of stuff.. spend the whole morning packin my own clothes.. and my pink dress. i like my pink dress alot.. it is really sweet.. had a chicken pie for breakfast and hang ard at home till like 1pm.. when all my frens started to come.. beng, pat and wei yan.. they so nice offer to come and help me.. :) pat had to rush down from sch, so we kinda waited for her.. and we took a cab down.. i had quite a bit to carry.. down a pot for my foundue.. 3 bags of chips.. some paper plates fork and spoon. the 1kg of chocolate. my clothes... beng was really sweet to help out.. he was like carryin a few bags.. lor... omg... not bad for a part-time bf.. :)

3pm:

reached aloha loyang at ard 3pm.. checked in.. i had a corner UNit.. omg. and a whole backyard to myself.. omg.. the place was rather small. but alright.. i supposed.. but i totally loved the backyard and the bbq. had quite a bit of space.. reached there.. pat helped to checked tt everything was intact.. and i started to boil water.. wanted to boil some herbal tea for my guest.. cos i think everyone was super heaty.. i really hope tt the drink was nice.. haha next time if want somemore tell me man!!! if i free can boil more..:P started boiling water.. beng was sayin tt i shld throw away the first layer cos u never noe wat they did with it.. haha.. omg.. i am a gal and i dun realy bother.. but well he helped me to pour away the hot water.. :) well den we went to play bridge.. :)

hang ard till ard 4 plus when my first batch of frens arrived.. they r the closest bunch of pple in sch.. my working partners.. and frens.. :) well some of them when the reached.. the first thing they did was to go and jog.. omg.. realyl chalet.. haha.. i guess everyone needed a break lah.. :) i was still boiling my herbal tea.. boiled it for like 1 hr.. hah super long omg.. den pat went ot shower.. it was like 5 plus liao.. i tt i shld too. since my caterer coming in 1 hr's time.. so went to change out to my pink dress.. and hide some where to put on my make up.. :) i think xp wanted to come in but i kinda locked the door.. ps.. when i put make up i dun realyl want too many pple ard.. shy mah.. :) did my hair my own.. proud of myself..:) okies.. after tt at ard 5 plus i think my game masters came.. omg they were in PINK!!!! well done guys... thanks..

6pm:

more of my frens started to stream in.. most of them were in pink... wow.. oh btw the theme for tt night was PINK!!!! :) the food came late at ard 7 plus.. by the time it come, everyone was super hungry. but luckily i had my fondue.. set up already..

finally the food came.. i think everyone were super hungry.. but the guys were gentleman enough to allow the gals to take first.. :) and my frens were nice enough.. they kinda force me to eat first.. seriouslly i din eat the whole day.. so food was really needed at tt time. i was really hungry.. but i took quite little.. cos my guest more impt mah.. :)

well after everyone was well fed... we had games.. the first one was this egg passing game.. the plan was to make me eat egg if the grp drops them.. but it turnso ut tt not enough pple .. so i had to u noe.. play too haha.. passing eggs was pretty fun.. but i love the 2nd game the most.. guess the drink..my game masters mixed the drinks up and pple were supposed to guess. if they make the wrong guess, they had to drink...

i love the strawberry essence one.. omg.. everyone took a long time to guesss... well i had to play twice too.. the first tiem was carrot juice.. one of the juices tt i frequently drink.. so it was quite easy.. the 2nd was coffee plus lime.. omg... i hated coffee the taste was rather choking... :( but i think it was a really fun game... :) after which we had taboo.. created specially for me.. :) all the words were related to me... eg.. cute, salsa, long eyelashes. big eyes.. and michelle chia.. haha audrey was so cute when she describe the words.. she was like... er... oh no no.. how to describe.. :P. to be cont..

really touched and happy :)

today i am officially 23 liao.. :) old? NEVER!!! it is just the new phase of another part in my life and there will be more stories awaiting for me to create. I had a fantastic PINK bday party actually in fact 2.. one organise by me.. and the other my elder.. :P i want to thank everyone who made this possible and a memorable one.. will be posting up details and photos in the near future.. want to thank:

1) my sec frens.. 10 years already.. and many more to come
2) lab mates... 8 mths.. but i believe that it will never end
3) YEP mates.. it had been 2.5 yrs.. but i believe that we will def celebrate XB's bday every yr for him..
4) game masters... the effort and time u spent on this.. was undoubtfully seen in excellent results..
5) part-time bf... u have been really supportive and encouraging... (jie-mei's men.. i can intro a excellent guy to ya)
7) jc mates... though it was like a few.. but thanks for coming.. and reuniting old ties... miss those bridge days..
8) course mates.. thanks for participating in the games.. gettin my cake.. being my photographer.. and eatin up the food.. :)
9) elder.... the show tt u made.. it really made me cry when i am nt supposed to.. but it is tears of joy..
10) stef.. really treasure our frenship...


hope tt i in miss out anyone... stay tunned for more details...

i am really excited

really tired now.. but super excited abt tml.. it is sth which i have been dreaming of since i started to breathe??? haha.. okie stooo kua zhang... waiting for it for like 23 yrs.. it is finally coming true.. hope tt it will be good.. i noe it will be.. really touched.. by all the efforts tt my frens has put in... gan dong leh.. sob sob.. thank ya for contributing in one way or another... contributing by eating will be good too.. cos i think i over-cater... come with a hungry stomach okies.. i am so excited abt the food too... there will be boneless buffalo wings.. omg.. brocoli with mushrooms.. omg omg... i am hungry liao... hope tt i get a chance to eat them.. :) and someone offered to be my part-time bf... haha.... guess who... :P

someone asked me today.. which one can i accept.. someone older than me by 13 yrs.. or someone younger than me by 5 yrs.. at this point of time i will say i will choose the 13 yrs... well i may not say the same in 5 yrs down the road.. but i feel tt age is not a measurement of maturity..

mixed feelings

it is like the 21st feb... 3 more days or rather 2.. bdays to me are really special every yr... it is a day which i will try to to be sad and cry... a belief tt i have since dunno when.. tt if i cry.. the whole yr will be damn suai.. i will just cry non-stop.. haha.. okies.. must be laughing at me right..hmm but tt is me.... ever since i enter UNI... my bday always falls on the mid-term break.. wow!!!! break... can enjoy right.. but it is always the mini-study break i think... cos after tt there is liek tons of mid-terms tt i need to clear.. i will norm spend the week studying..

this yr... it will be special... have mixed feelings for it though.... had a really hectic past week... getting alittle stressed out.. it is nt supposed to be... maybe i expect too much in certain things... letting go... and lower expectations will be the best solution now... push on!!! jia yo!!!...

CNY

have not touched the com for the past weekend.. was busy visiting relatives and catching up..
let's start with last fri... went home early to help mummy to clean up the house.. am really guilty.. have not been helping with housework recently.. but i am so fortunate to have such an understanding mum.. thanks mummy... love ya.. muaucks... went grocery shoppin with her on fri night and also sat.. wow.. we bought so many things.... :) i jsut love shoppin at supermarkets with her.. abit auntie hor.. as some of u pple going to say.. but i just liek doin such stuff... :) we bought some of my bday stuff too....

cny eve was spent at my nai nai's place... but b4 i went shoppin again... haha at giant for more food.. hmmm think this is really a piggy year man!!! had our reunion dinner there... realised that my ye ye is like 85 this yr... omg... he really old liao.. i must spend more time with them.. they were the ones who carried me when i was small.. :P... okeis.. cnyt 's resolution.. to spend more tiem with my grandparents.. both paternally and maternally.. :) after tt, my whole family went to chinatown.. to shop for more stuff..i wanted to buy the peanuts which r in fashion this yr.. last yr was muah chee... this yr is the assorted nuts... set my eyes on it for a long time... so i wanted to get it... i was also tempted to buy the taiwaneses jelly too.. guo dong.. we went one round it was still 100g for 1 buck.. din really want to get it.. haha den i went another round, this time.. omg 5 bucks for 1 big bag.. haha... i was liek okies pay.. and snatch.. haha.. my youngest sis.. was like tryin to stuff all the guo dong into the bag.. while me been so auntie snatching and diggin for the guo dong... haha.. my nicely done nailed were ruined after tt.. it is qutie a good work out too... omg... it was a nice experience though.. haha... the funniest thing was i saw many men doing tt tooo omg.....

the next day was cny... chu yi.. i got my new dress, new shoes which i bought he previous night.. it was a nice feeling.. hmmm my mum bought everything for me.. come to think abt it.. well i guess everyone can guess the colour.. hmm PINK.. my dress is a white based pink dress with pink flowers..., shoes was pink... i had pink nails... my bag was pink too... hmmm i was wearin pearl earning and necklace.. haha like a little gui fu... haha.. omg. was over dress.. but it was fun.. :P i liek to dress up... but i can't do it often .... :( will try to when i get a chance too... went ard visiting.. those relatives that i see only once a yr? hmmm... same questions asked..
eg: where r ya studying? gt boyfriend liao? or worse... when u intend to get married.. omg... den my daddy will playin along.. ya so old liao.. can marry out.. omg... papa... best leh u !!!!! :P

chu er was spent at my po po and gong gong's place.. it is a gathering tt we have every yr w/o fail.. we will have a buffet dinner.... but this yr we have sooooo much food.. omg.. i helped to fry the vege.. i miss cookin.... it has been ages since i cooked... one day must cook for u guys.. :) saw my cousins.. wow.. all of them r doing soo well... all surpass me... really proud of them..

time really flies... everyone is nt the once little, innocent kids.. today we r all grown up... talkin abt very serious stuff... wat will it be like in 10 yrs down the road.. hmmm excited.. and hopeful abt it..

tolerance level

Tolerance... it is sth. which not everyone possess.. it is sth which i see it in some of my frens.. n i seriously think it is amazing how much patience.. and tolerance they have.. i must really salute u for tt man!!! personally i think that new frens have higher tolerance level for each other.. it is cos they dunno each other tt well.. and thus they do not show their true colours!!! hmmmm for me i think i do have quite a high tolerance level for certain things.. well but it seems to be dropping as days go by... hmmmm and now i do show it when i am unhappy.. or angry..

Valentines....

it was a nice start this morning when beng greeted me with some really expensive chocolates from switzerland. he wanted to give it for my bday.. but decided not.. so i suppose i shall see sth nicer ya... :) well i ended up eating 2 pieces of it.. yum yumm they r pretty good.. but i prefer the box.. it is so pretty wrapped...HINT!!! beng... spoke to him for abt half an hr.. really nice chat... :) appreciate tt there r such frens who ard....

went back to do some work.. den met everyone else.. saw J online.. asked me if i wanted to go ard to give the shui jing baos... haha... din really want to... cos.. tt the guys will do it.. went along tog.. i mean... i did put in some efforts to wrap.. :) waited in my office.. for S to finish talkin to XL... hmm wait til i ended up eating lunch.. haha... well went along with them to give away the shui jing baos.. like .. santa claus liek tt le..... well i guess this time was cupids bah.. :).. it is a nice gesture.. i hope pple do like it.. :)

went back to do sth stuff.. .. B gave us the gals sth.. really cute.. hahha but he left it there... so unsincere one.. lhe.. we refused to take it.. hah.. force him to like take the paper bag to pass it us.. :) but like the PINK thingy.. but next more sincere lah.. want to give.. dun paiseh.. jsut give lor... we won't tease ya one.. it was a nice gesture.. for this we shall nt suan ya too much okies.. :)

settle my bday cake..it will be damn yummy i think.. the person asked me wat i want on the cake.. hmmm tt for onli like within 10 secs.. :). feel so excited when things r finalised and the day is nearing.. :P settled with my caterer too... the uncle so nice. allow me to choose my items.. and order extra mango puddings for the dear gals who requested... i hope it is good.. :)

today XP asked me if i am tt kind must get flowers on Vday one... haha... nice question... i shall leave this hanging.... open-ended question......

was talkin to some of the guys the other day... we were talkin abt droppin hints on pple tt u like.. hmm it is interesting to hear the differnet type of views.. i am still stickin with my a gal shld nt tell a guy str in the face tt she likes him.. somehow.. he won't treasure her tt much.. for me.. i dun think i will ever tell a guy tt i like him.. as for hints.. hmmmmmmmm......

Vday..

today's 13/2 .. tml is Vday... so exciting... J and S will be going ard like cupids to give out nice little shui jing baos... it has a rose on top of it okies.. do look out.. J spent alot of time folding and folding.. and he kept telling S tt his was nt nice.. nt gd enough.. haha.. poor S... Cmon J, give him more credits lah.. the roses by him nt bad too... it was a nice feeling wrapping the chocolates.. everyone who walked past gave us werid look.. haha but who cares... as long.. we get the stuff nicely wrapped.. :).. yum yum.. was jealous when Mr J decided to give special treatment to a particular pack lor!!!! but he did put effort to my pack.. hmm did he? cos qing ling said the other was nicer.. argh!!! :P haha.. bad boss... can't work for him one.. haha well but i think i did a gd job tyin the shui jing baos... i realyl hope everyone likes it... :)

in the evening went down to chinatown with my labbies... :) we went to chinatown market to eat claypot rice!! and hokkien mee and or lua!! but i din't eat the oysters. we had also yam cake and also a very yummy fish head.. omg!!!! damn nice lah.. hehe.... nice recommendation man!! but i think alot of msg leh.. i super thirsty now.. haha but.. den... heck... nice can liao.. went to the ye shi after tt... omg.. sooooo many pple... we tried the peaunts and i bought one with the stripped ones.. so cooll.. never c this b4.. :) but hor. i think my mummy bought one bag at home too. alamak.. how huh!!! will have a peanuts festival at home liao.. :P

somehow.. this yr V-day.. the feelin is very different from last yr.. i can't spell it out but it just feels really different.. meeting more pple and knowing more things somehow makes me think certain stuff differently.. but i am really glad to noe more pple and celebrate with them this yr.. :).. wat will it liek next yr.. hmmm :)

Chocolate hearts...

today was a baking day for me... spent the whole day baking since 8am.. it has been a tradition in my family to bake pineapple tarts since dunno when... this yr.. we have the help with some special tools to make the patterns on the tarts.. they look really pretty... the batch this yr is slightly sweeter than the previous yrs though.. :) but it was really enjoyable to bake again.. have nt done so for a looong time... wanted to try baking my chocolate hearts this yr again..i wanted to give my frens during Vday.. it is sth which i do every yr... since dunno when tooo... did it last yr too.... but... haiz.. this batch really cmi... used the wrong chocolate till everything was like.. really.. unsightly... so i guess.. this yr... u guys won't receive anything from me....... :( in the end.. there was some chocolate left .. my sis decided to do a hand spa with it.. i join her in it... haha it was pretty fun... my hands smell of chocolate now.. haha...

hmmm since V-day is ard the corner... lets talk abt finding the right partners.... :) there is this saying.. or it has been one of my topics..

guys will tend to marry someone like their mums and gals on the other hand will marry someone like their dad...

how true is this statement? some pple tell me it is quite true.. they do find qualites of their partners in their parents.. personally... i do hope to find someone who possess qualites tt my daddy has... :) wat do ya guys think? hmmmmmm

4 OUCH blisters but a consoled soul

was still feelin alittle down this morning.. din want to do anything.. so decided to dress up..and go out to chill out for a while.. wore my fav blue well alittle low cut top... have been wanting to wear tt to sch for some time.. but seems a little too revealing.. well today din really bother.. just wore it... i dun care.. as long i feel gd can liao.. :) put on my new blue shoes.. really girly.. but gave my 4 blisters with one still nt broken.. OUCH.... went back to lab to try to grow crystals.. hopefully they will come out soon.. :) den proceed to career fair.. today was much better... i went to the booths upstairs.. had a better vision and goals on the jobs i want to do.. think shld apply for them soon man!! :) haha.. a weird looking pek pek approached pat and me.. and said tt he was frm some insurance com.. OMG!!!!!! there is com presentation coming up... and hopefully we will attend!! OMG!!!! later he is a pimp how!! :)

after which went to eat ice-cream with pat at swensens.. had the coit tower.. my fav.. always eat tt when i go there.. and we went to get my hair oil... den we went separate ways... i went to find wan si and jiesi.. to shop.. and waited for the rest to come and join us.. saw this black baby dress.. OMG!!!!! super nice !! i love it.. BUT... 100 bucks.. wah.. nt worth leh.. can get a LBD with tt liao... shld start shopping for a LBD soon.. :)

finally the rest came... we went to Waraku Japanese Resturant, My recommendation..

http://www.waraku.com.sg/

:) OMG i totally love the place.. food super good and worth it.. and service.. wow!!! nting to say... we had a little rm to ourselves.. and it was realyl cosy and comfortable.. :) well.. i got to noe.. haha uncle or shld i say auntie jack so much better!!!! and for once!!!!!! i was nt the suaned target.. haha it was him!! omg!!! he sure does weird things !!! haah u can go and ask him urself man!!!! dinner was really gd... had my chicken paper steamboat.. wow!!! really love tt.. :)

my little sis got her O-results today.. she did really well!!! well done mei!!!! for now. i am nt the record holder anymore liao.. :) so proud of ya.. :)

Chemistry btw 2 pple is sth which i call a miracle.. sth which can't never be describe or bought.... when it is lost, it is lost... it is difficult to find back tt feeling once more.. so one shld really treasure and grab the chance.. never wait.. till it is too late and start to regret... hmmmmm...

Fickle-minded

it is one of the day when i feel like hiding in my own shell.. wish that the clock stopped and to do a little reflection and thinking..

fickle-mindedness.... one of the bad habits i have.. sth which is me i guess.. sth which if u think of me.. the first thing will come to ya mind. well it is this thing which rem me for good and bad reasons.. well most of the time it is bad... sadly to say i think i may have lost many frens cos of this.. there were alot misunderstanding when i din make my stand clearly.. ALSO.. when i tend to forget things which i say.. sth which is me.. i think it is impossible for me to change.. u gotta to accept who i am ..

at times i think i take things too seriously... or maybe u can say tt i am too sensitive... frens mean alot to me... they r on par with my family.. or somtimes.. i wonder if tt has changed... and their words even more..i move with them and their emotions and comments... well is this tryin to hard to please them as some pple may think.... but i am just like tt. i dun work in the way i am happy n others r happy.. it is the other way rd.. i am happy cos u r happy... well some pple may think tt this is plain stupidity.. or foolish.. it may be or may not... but... i really hope that this will change this coming bday party.. where i really can be happy and pple will be happy for me... for just once.. i just want to feel how does it feel... just for once....

Relationships

R/s...can it be just purely innoncent love... the sweet feeling... the exciting one..

Couple hood.... it is just 2 pple living tog... the support... the hugs.. the kisses...

when 2 pple come tog in an union.. it is so much more than just the pure love tt they have for each other.. there r so many factors to consider.. whether u r compatiable in terms of religion, family background, friends, culture, dreams, hopes, plans, goals, frequency. personally, i dun really believe that love at first sigh exist.. i dun think one can love someone so deeply just one look.. tt is wat attraction bah.. i think it is the small (NOTE: NT BIG ONES) actions tt one does for each other.. the hardships tt a couple survive through. tt will bring them closer to each and let them learn to love each other.... so what is love?

Everytime We Touch (Slow Remix)

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me.

I still feel your touch in my dreams.

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why.

Without you It's hard to survive.

Cause everytime we touch,

I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.

Can't you feel my heart beat fast,

I wan't this to last,

need you by my side.

Cause everytime we touch,

I feel the static and everytime we kiss i reach for the sky.

Can't you hear my heart beat so,

I can't let you go.

Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle,

your heart is my sky.

They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times

we've been through them all,

you make me rise when i fall.

Cause everytime we touch,

I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.

Can't you feel my heart beat fast,

I wan't this to last,

need you by my side.

Cause everytime we touch,

I feel the static and everytime we kiss i reach for the sky.

Can't you hear my heart beat so,

I can't let you go.

Want you in my life.

Cause everytime we touch,

I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.

Can't you feel my heart beat fast,

I wan't this to last,

need you by my side.

quite like this song by casacada.. the slow version though.. very soothing.. and sweet.. :)